Wednesday, December 21, 2011


I'm about to go on a very long rant, that may or may not be offensive to anyone who has ever attended/taught/seen a community college. 

They suck. 
Its not the teachers fault. Nor is it the fault of the staff who is over worked and probably terribly underpaid. Its the system. The few years I attended I was all "Just let me Extreme School Makeover this place". I will come in, fire the shitty old/cranky teachers and staff (that refuse to retire). Paint the walls. Put in some desks that don't resemble the same ones I used in the third grade. And get shit ORGANIZED. I swear people will be begging to come to this place. Well.... probably not. But they wouldn't dream of getting caught horrible traffic to have a legitimate reason to not go to class.

Extreme School Makeover Steps:
#1. Fire every college algebra teacher that has ever taught even a single class there.
#2. Figure out the tornado that is the financial aid department
#3. Hire people that's only job is to answer the friggin phones
#4. Paint the walls. Like a friendly color.
#5. Get a desk that my whole ass can fit in
#6. Donate all the old desks to an elementary school. Or a dollhouse. 
#7. Put a computer on every desk. You know. For Facebook purposes.
#8. Install a speaker system throughout all the buildings and have the teachers drop everything and do a choreographed dance every time the radio plays "Moves Like Jagger" (kinda the same concept as Texas Roadhouse)

#8 could probably not make the cut. Depends on how long you give me to teach the teachers the dance. Extreme School Makeover only lasts 3 days. So we will see. In the mean time... I'm gonna send these suggestions the school's way. You know... as my own Public Service. You are welcome future community college students.

*** Anyway, I love most of the teachers at my old school and I truthfully thank them for tolerating me for the semester. If you have met me you are probably aware of my mild self-diagnosed OCD and my constant need to tell everyone my opinion. A few have actually have helped change my life. Those are the ones who I would hire as SCHOOL PRESIDENTS. and their salaries would be $1000344957 a year. Yeah.... Im sure you want me to take over the school now!


  1. This was my college to a T. Funny that I paid almost $60,000 and yet all of the teachers were underpaid grouches that would rather make us read something and take a test than actually teach us something. Very few of our teachers were actually inspired, but then again, if I made that little, I wouldn't be very inspired either. So... where the hell did all that money go?

  2. I can agree with most of these. Some colleges need a hand.