Top 5 Reasons I choose to have my dog instead of children

• My dog likes to sleep as much as I do! Sometimes (on a good weekend) I like to sleep 12-13 hours, and I still have to drag her out of bed. 
• You can leave them at home alone when you go out, without worrying about knives or the oven.
• They don't talk back (normally)
• They take multiple VERY long naps during the day, without even being asked.
• They always love to snuggle and will NEVER grow out of it into some horrible teenager that will resent everything you have ever done for them. 

Parents,while your fighting the battles of puberty I will be at home feeding my dog treats and watching her happily fetch the same toy she has loved for years (without complaints). While your daughter is going out on dates with a man who looks to be in his late 30's riding a Harley, I will be watching my dog take her third nap of the day right under my feet. When your son is out with his rowdy friends trying to light things on fire, I will be sleeping in bed with a dog who doesn't need to be told 50000 times to "JUST GO TO SLEEP". Maybe in a few years I will grow the patience to have my own child. Until then I am just gonna enjoy my job, then come  home to my quiet house with my cuddly dog. :) 

*This in NO WAY speaks badly of children, I LOVE kids! In my own way I think Zoey is my child! Its just a funny tidbit I came up with off the top of my head so for all of you who could potentially spin this the wrong way... don't.